#TeamUnstoppableSG Contest entry

[sig_ice]

On a surface level, most people would say interactions with me are weird. I agree, for I am expressive in words through writing, but not really much face-to-face, and many circumstances have taken it's toll on me such that I would say I am slightly reserved as such, and yet I am trying my best to be functional. Having been at the receiving end of ridiculous circumstances both in school and at my workplaces before which greatly challenged me, my past experiences have taken quite a toll on my mentality. There was no one I can turn to to be able to express myself, and even when I could, my concerns were brushed aside and I was labelled weak. Yet, I know that I need to be able to find a voice, and hence I turned to cosplay and props-making.

Although it may seem like escapism, the process of crafting and creating, sharing and posting them throughout the years gave me a sense of respite, as I worked and took my mind off of the environment that I was constantly in. It boosted my confidence, and gave me like-minded acquaintances who became friends, and allowed me to understand how I could better project myself. To me, it wasn't about glamour or competition to boast about, but rather, bonds which I could cherish and understand what it is like to be able to engage, communicate and not fear being stabbed in the back.

Samsung has been a brand that I have been using since the early days of Note, and these images were taken then using my Note 2. Till this date, I still rely on my Tab S6 to be able to draw my props and costumes, their measurements and specifics, as well as make notes on my shopping list and my plans. It provides me the platform to share with my friends on my SNS platforms immediately, and to hear their feedback and work on the improvements while being connected to them too. Though I am still working on being expressive in real life, being expressive through SNS is my other channel to continue to boost my confidence and express myself further, for I do not intend to let my past experiences stop me any further. 

#TeamUnstoppableSG @samsungsg

 

[shurinshushu]

HAHA we are competitors but your first para called out to me and I just had to reach out to let you know you are not alone! I'm exactly the same. I think I'm the SUPER introverted type and I really cannot express myself well verbally. You know, there was one period of time where being introverted and reserved was seen as kind of a character (and even capability) flaw.

I mean.. I think it's a character TRAIT and not a flaw. And I had no problems doing the required work. I also felt sooooo horrible all the time because people always made me feel like I was lacking something, or that there was something wrong with me. 

But like you, thank goodness I also met the right people were aren't so judgmental!Also, society seems to have changed now, people are like "oh, she's just introverted lah" instead of "OMG why is she so quiet/shy?" PLUS I'm a writer now so I'm not obliged to yak non-stop to everyone I meet. 

I'm glad you found people and hobbies you love! 

[sig_ice]

Hey there! Thanks for that! I think my case was a little strange, because I am introverted, but then due to alot of negative experiences, I grew even more introverted to the point that there was a fear you see....kind of like, how do you trust someone if you had been hurt so many times it feels like your life is a bad movie that is so absurd and ridiculous that no one believes you?

And I agree with you - let's see the positive side of things! Being reserved and introverted can be trait, because it shows you are mentally processing things and finding the right words to say! 

Lastly, once again, thanks for the comment! I'm also glad you met people who are understanding as well. While society seems to have changed, sadly, in certain places, it is hard to change the thinking, and all the more for the need for a greater acceptance and open mind-set. I used to work as a writer too - but that's a past-life that has passed!

[JP19]

Introverts are great listeners and can perform tasks better when they are left alone. Not that they don't wish to be social, their energy drain a lot when there is a need to talk.

I am also an introvert. But when I am around people whom I am familiar with e.g. colleagues in the same team, I don't seem like an introvert in their eyes. If coming back to office and in my workspace, I would prefer to pop in my Airpods and listen to music while doing my work, rather than chatting with colleagues.

[sig_ice]

Indeed! We just process things a bit differently and internally, and we open up when we feel comfortable enough! However, before people get familiar with us, that's when it is a challenge and therefore why I feel I have to change myself - because prior to them knowing me, I need to first get them to know me!

[JP19]

I feel u don't have to change urself too much. You are who you are. 😇 Sometimes, u change and ppl won't appreciate the change too.

[sig_ice]

Thank you for your encouragement! People may not appreciate the change, but I guess it's a way for me to adapt too? After all, just like how people may not understand me, that doesn't mean it should stop me from trying to understand them and also being kinder to myself. 😃

[JP19]

Agreed.. for personal development.